Bond is the terrible man doing awful things to keep the rest of us safe -- he's the guy Jack Nicholson was talking about in A Few Good Men. His appeal is that he is just as bad as the bad guy. All that separates him from them is 1) which country signs his "paycheque" (and being a professional gambler, he doesn't care too much about that anyway); and 2) he'll always find a way to save the girl, along with tens of millions of husbands, wives, mothers, daughters, fathers, sons, puppies and kitties he'll never meet.

But if he has to use a Chinese rocket launcher to complete the mission, out it comes.

What all of this means, is...if you want to find a way to kill James Bond forever, a way that'll work BETTER than making him gay...just do this. Build him for kids. Make a pacifist 007. Have Greedo shoot first, as it were.

We love Bond, because when the time comes that the bad guys can only be defeated by someone who becomes as monstraous as they are -- he's already there.

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