Bond Villain Home | Killing off Bond

Over years and years, decades upon decades, that famous line has persistently popped up all over, "Do you expect me to talk?" "No mister Bond, I expect you to DIE!" So what has been the best way of killing Bond so far? Hmmmm? The laser? The cake-bomb?


How about strapping him to a gurney with the girl, opening a vein on his arm, and laboriously lowering him into your decorative shark-tank?

D'oh! Forgot to take off the magnetic watch!

In an effort to help the nefarious, we, at Licensed to Kill, here list the countless ways that villains, henchmen, lackeys and the merely amateurish have tried (so far, unsuccessfully) to kill off British Agent 007, James Bond. They range from the accidental to the purposefully complex, sometimes thought up off-the-cuff, and sometimes planned down to the last detail. But whether improvised or premeditated, simple or ludicrous they all have one thing in common:

Failure

(I suppose one could try just shooting him!)

So, here they are listed by film, the many ways to not kill off Bond. (We suggest you don't use them!)

Should you want to achieve such a goal, remember, please, the words of Miss Tiffany Case: "And for God's sake, try and come up with something original!"

Dr. No

• incompetent driver/assassin
• tarantula in the bed
• run off the road
• shot while sleeping
• shot by patrol boat
• dragon tank
• irradiated
• talked to death at dinner
• beaten up
• electrocuted
• dangerously un-insulated ventilation system
• beaten by metal claws
• cooked in a nuclear cooling tank

From Russia With Love

• a beating

Poison tipped shoes
Goldfinger

• A beating
• Laser
• Blowing 007 up
• shooting

Thunderball

• Shark feeding

On Her Majesty's Secret Service

• Drive-by

Diamonds Are Forever

• buried alive
• a beating
• cake bomb

Live and Let Die

• a beating

GoldenEye

• exploding train

Casino Royale

• a beating
• poisoning